Superhero Saved?
Transcript from an anonymous television interview with a famed Superhero who has reportedly become “Born Again.” Our Hero was seated behind a curtain with bathed in green light with his voice mechanically disguised. Our interviewer has no idea who this Hero is either in secret or in costume.
ANNOUNCER: Flash… a famous…
HERO: I'm not the Flash.
ANNOUNCER: Oh, I mean… that’s just journalism talk as in “news flash.”
HERO: Sorry. I’m indestructible, but not all knowing.
ANNOUNCER: Not a Brainaic, eh?
HERO: Watch those Superhero references. My identity is a secret.
ANNOUNCER: Sure, I understand. On to the interview. So… you’re now a Christian. If you’ve been born again, then could it be argued that you’re not human anymore, but some sort of an eX-man?
HERO: Your thinly veiled attempt to discover my identity is futile, evildoer. I will triumph as right must. For now, I must keep my identity secret…. Darn, I’m monologuing. Sorry.
ANNOUNCER: (Laughs) Must come from listening to all those Super villain speeches. Seriously, what’s with you suddenly finding Jesus?
HERO: It may sound clichéish, but saving the world is tough...
ANNOUNCER: It must be. You’d almost have to be a Super Man to do it.
HERO: I’ll ignore that. Like all superheroes, I finally discovered I could save anyone but myself. Like everyone else, my true archenemy lies within in my fallen nature. I lived with not only a secret identity, but with secret sin that weighed me down…
ANNOUNCER: Kinda like a Hulk? Um, ok. Could you say that without Jesus, you’d be in your ‘crypt tonight’?
HERO: “Crypt tonight?” Huh? Oh, cute. Now why don’t you just throw on an old Jethro Tull album and play Aqualung so I can then tell you I’m not Aquaman, either?
ANNOUNCER: Then I’ll let you remain a Phantom. Now that’s you’ve found God, are you going to retire? And if you do, who will be there to help Captain, I mean, guide America through her trials, invasions, and battle the tireless forces of evil?
HERO: Retire? Goodness, no. This Daily Planet.. I mean, little planet is in need of help. The Bible says that God is a consuming fire, and I’d like to be his Human Torch.
ANNOUNCER: That’s Fantastic for you! As a crime fighting Christian, do you see yourself as God’s Avenger?
HERO: Avenger? No, Vengeance belongs to God. I’m not his Punisher, I don’t have Bats in my cranial cave, and I am certainly not God’s DareDevil! Satisfied? I’m really just a servant in spandex.
ANNOUNCER: You went through a kind of Dark Knight of the soul? I Wonder…
HERO: Woman! Wonder Woman? Sorry, but I am a man. Gotcha!
ANNOUNCER: Were you baptized?
HERO: Yes, but in water, not a vat of toxic waste.
ANNOUNCER: A Man of Iron would rust but a Man of Steel would not.
HERO: Knock it off, Joker.
ANNOUNCER: Why would a superhero need a Savior?
HERO: Why does anyone need a Savior? Try as we might, we need help; all of us. The problem is that most of us treat God like our little sidekick when in reality He is the one who is supposed to be center stage. God sent His only Son to earth to save a world he loves.
ANNOUNCER: You mean Jesus comes from another world? Is that a Superman reference?
HERO: No, don’t you watch football? It’s from the Bible, John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” And Jesus came from Heaven.
ANNOUNCER: Eternal Life? Is that some sort of super power?
HERO: Even the Immortals die. Eternal Life is a gift from God given to whosoever calls upon his name. There is no name under heaven that can save anyone except the name of Jesus, the true hope of humanity and our genuine hero.
ANNOUNCER: So if someone like you needs a Savior, then the rest of us… do, too?
HERO: Yes. Whoops. I’m being signaled. Gotta fly! (Whoosh)
ANNOUNCER: (calling out) So you can fly, eh? Hummm…
Bryan Hupperts
© 2008
Donate to SheepTrax
Enjoyed reading SheepTrax? Consider donating to this ministry. Your donation of $5 or $10 is much appreciated and will help fund our teaching and outreach efforts.