Attention Wh*ore: Perfume for the Self Loving Generation

Lovers of Self are giddy with anticipation over the midnight release of the ultimate perfume: Attention Wh*ore.

Marketed by those ingenious workaholics at Ho’ Tel Inc., Attention Wh*ore is touted as the highest expression of self indulgence.

“Darling, we worship the true goddess of love: Self,” said Billionaire heiress and spokesperson Rhamada Sinn. Sinn, rich beyond the dreams of Avarice, is hoping to add a few hundred more million to the family coffers. She is a socialite know for her billions, home made porn movies and an abortive *ahem* singing career, and is no stranger to controversy. She says that women want to be loved but so few find the real thing that she “just had to” come up with an alternative for her adoring public. She coyly adds that need, not greed, is the driving force behind Attention Wh*ore.

Critics of Attention Wh*ore say the rancidly sweet concoction smells more like a ghastly cocktail of late night microwave burritos, disco sweat, and cheap strawberry wine, the $2.00 a quart variety. Sinn is suing several gossip magazines to find out who broke her Trade Mark protected super secret perfume formula.

Former uber skinny supermodel Faith Bridges, once a fellow night clubber of Rhamada Sinn, confides that it is not just the everyday girl who wants love. In fact, she says, it's not just the money that gets stunningly beautiful women to parade on the catwalk in their lingerie before the ogling public and paparazzi; it’s the need to be loved.

Bridges, a former worshipper of Self, describes her harrowing journey from the love of Self to finding real Love in her recent book Victory’s Secret.

She wrote, “Forget the Princess ideal. I grew up wanting to be worshipped as a goddess. With no father to love me, I was determined to have the whole world fall in love with me.” Her stellar career came crashing to a fiery end when she ended up in a Columbian prison for smuggling cocaine.
“In my mind, coke wasn’t an evil drug, but simply a dietary supplement to keep me thin and beautiful.” The Judge disagreed and Bridges went to jail.

Not speaking the language, she was given an English Bible, the only reading material available, and she began pouring over its pages. She finally read a verse that shocked her to prayer. "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves. . ." (2 Timothy 3:1,2).

Stymied over how loving Self could be perilous, she began to pray and read. Says Bridges, “Since I wanted to be a goddess, it was really unnerving to realized that the first person who ever wanted to be a god was Satan. That’s when I realized how truly messed up I was. Instead of being a god(dess) I realized I needed to find the real God.”

After a lot of soul searching, the love starved supermodel was brought to tears and faith when she read in the Bible that God wanted to adopt her and become her Father. Unlike other troubled celebs who pray, she allowed her faith to take root and she continues to worship and love God.

"God compares prayer and worship to perfume and he likes it. How cool," says Bridges. She adds, “Can you believe it? God is love. That’s what women truly want, to be perfectly loved. We were made for it and we can’t find it even with a great guy. We were made to know God and nothing else will satisfy the yearnings of our soul until we do. Victory’s Secret is simply this: Jesus paid for our sins on the Cross. It is finished! Now, we have to decide to seek God with our whole heart or not. He promises we will find Him only if we do.”

As for Rhamada Sinn, Bridges says that she is a victim of her own misguided desires. “I love her. God loves her. Unless she repents from loving Self and turns to the source of True Love, which is the Living God, she will doomed for eternity to gag on fumes far more noxious than Attention Wh*ore.”

Bryan Hupperts
© 2008

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